This Mother’s Day, listen to the Stanford Hospital Life Coach and NEST

I had book club the other day. It is a book club of about 15 women- we are all doctors with at least 2 kids.  Our last book club wasn’t about a book.  This time a woman who is a life coach employed by Stanford Hospital to fight doctor burn out came and talked with us.

All of us (not just my book club) have burn out.

Silicon Valley, kids, work.  When I ask my patients, “How are you?” The answer no longer is “good” or “fine” or “bad.”  The answer is BUSY. I get you have no time for you. But on Mother’s Day, I think it is good to reflect on how you need to mother yourself a bit, take care of yourself a bit. I see many patients with guilt when they do surgery- many who are truly fixing and doing reconstruction, not just to look pretty.  They feel guilt because they are spending time and money on themselves.  They feel guilt because they are not able to hold the household together as they usually do.  Somehow, we as mothers put everyone’s needs and well being above our own.

So I know you don’t have time to read this blog, as you are likely very very busy, so I will give you a few pearls I picked up.

1. If the well is dry, you can only give mud.  This means if you have no reserves for yourself, you, the mama-bear-hub-of-your-family-life,  cannot give to others.
2. She used the catchy acronym NEST.  These are all basically self care.  They talk about how you should “tend your NEST.”  And when you do these things, it helps the well not be dry anymore.
   1. N= NUTRITION
   2. E = EXERCISE
   3. S = SLEEP
   4. T = TIME MANAGEMENT
3. The other thing she focused on was SPACE.  This was more for the psychologic aspects of self care.
   1. S-P-A-C-E
      ~~~
      Stillness
      Presence
      Appreciation
      Compassion
      Equanimity
4. They had exercises for you to do (yes mommies get homework too!)
   1. Meditation (Calm.com) Listen every day for nine months.
   2. Write in a journal.  Try to write daily for nine months.
   3. Walk. Do a little walk every day for nine months.
   4. Take a bath.  They want you to bathe nightly with candles and music for nine months. (ha! love this, but no way could I get the time to do it)
   5. Get a massage every week. (I love this one too, but who has the time and money for this? There are great hand massage or foam rollers which can help with some of this)
   6. Yoga twice a week.
   7. Do new learning. Find a partner and do one of the activities above with them.

For a reading list, you can go to the Stanford Medical site HERE.